By: 6-IBAIBANGTYPE-6
Inkslinger here, coming all the way from Shibuya town, bringing to you live this very important announcement: SHIBUYA TOWN IS UNDER ATTACK!!! WAAAA!!!
A gigantic monster, bigger than my house, is on a rampage at the Shibuya district at this very moment. Code-named "Great Hawk", the giant monster is said to have sprung out of nowhere, prowling the Shibuya streets and wrecking everything in its path, even the flowers (poor things T^T).
According to rumors, the "Great Hawk" was the result of a botched-up experiment recently operated by the Sacred Financial Group. The Group was said to be finding a way to expand the bridges connecting the different servers of RAN, but it instead opened a portal to this monster's world. Great work, guys. *sarcasm*
Yours truly was fortunate enough to interview Augustus Oroborus, former RAN Headmaster and now Spokesperson for the Sacred Financial Group, regarding the truth to these rumors. And like the typical showbiz personality, he strongly denied the accusation.
"The rumor is completely without basis," Oroborus said. "There is possibly nothing to link the Sacred Financial Group with this disaster. Although, it is true that we experimented with dimension portals to aid us with the Battle Royale event, this incident is definitely not connected with Battle Royale."
Trust the Sacred Financial Group to say anything significant, but what the heck...this big gorilla is one hell of a monster as it goes on an endless streak of destruction. I would personally take this big freak and give it a sound thrashing, but hey, I wouldn’t want to damage my perfect hairdo (which I paid for with quite a lot of dough). Besides, I’m only here to report the devastation, and not to actually clean up the mess.
But anyhoo, the “Great Hawk” problem needs to be addressed, and soon! Personally, I don’t see anything great about this big, hulkin’ gorilla, but don’t tell him I said that...he might just get nasty and come looking for me. You know what I mean.
Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:34 am